Just watched the movie Chaos Theory (romantic comedy?). I kinda enjoyed it. I can deal with these types of movies so long as the main character doesn't cross any boundaries into an "unredeemable zone." There are certain decisions and actions that permanently remove any connection between me and the character, and likeability is not likely. From there, it's hard to like a movie in which you despise the main character.
I won't give any examples of my "unredeemable zone," but my film professor would say that Spider-Man 3 can't be redeemed for her. Peter Parker hits Mary Jane, and that is just something you don't do. But for my film professor, it was the fact that Peter never apologized. Even though it was one of those uncontrollable impulses, he never sought forgiveness and never apologized for this action. Still, Mary Jane forgave him -- she took him back.
But doesn't there have to be an effect on both sides? One person asks for forgiveness, the other does the forgiving. One gives, one receives (not by taking or accepting, but by seeking and embracing the forgiving grace). They both offer something. Interesting...
And for some reason at the end of the movie (Chaos Theory), i reflected on what happened right before i started watching it on Netflix Instant Play. I prepared a bowl of strawberry and cream oatmeal, yum :-D. It wasn't perfect. It had too much water and left no room for milk. Oh well. I set it down on my subwoofer so that i could unfold my chair. As i was unfolding it, the edge of the chair gently hit my bowl, and in one flowing motion lifted and flipped my bowl of oatmeal in the air. Of course, it landed upside down -- a splatter of oatmeal goo all over power chords and soaking into my carpet. At first, i was complacent. More shock than anything. Wait, how did my oatmeal end up on my carpet? And then i decided i needed a more suitable reaction. I grabbed my head like i was about to rip my own hair out. I got angry! How did my oatmeal spill all over the place?! I almost went crazy trying to replay it in my head. I felt no bump or nudge when i was unfolding my chair. I don't even remember motioning the chair in the direction the bowl flipped haha. I'm still like, "What?!" I was angry, so i tossed my chair onto my bed and kicked a few chords out of the way. And then...
reality set in. Ok, there's oatmeal on my carpet. What do i do about that? Clean it up, of course. And now! It's soaking into the carpet. I'll never get the smell out of my bedroom...
I had to deal with it. That was the next step. So i accepted it, and faced it. I cleaned it up. And i was still hungry. Then i remembered it wasn't my best bowl of oatmeal ever, and decided to try again. I had to settle with peaches and cream this time, but i made it just right :-)
In this case, there were 3 reactions:
Complacency.
Anger.
Forgiveness - or a type of it.
Perhaps these 3 reactions are the most common for everyone today. Not everyone, everywhere, always. But Americans today. I can't speak for other places because i haven't lived anywhere else, but i do know complacency plays a big role in the lives of Americans today. Complacent with almost everything! And that's enough to get me angry. And so it did. I got angry about the matter of spilled oatmeal. But not for that reason. This has been a longer process. I got really good at acting out of forgiveness and love, but without a constant reminder and focus on why this is important, i eventually slipped into complacency. And that's not a place i want to be. I don't want to be complacent with important things: faith, love, best friends, career choices, politics, etc. It's okay to be angry -- depending on how we act out of our anger -- isn't it? And so i go frustrated with my complacency and recently started getting angry in events of...spilled oatmeal and other things. It wasn't so much a reaction as a decision to choose how to react. I don't know. Part of me thought it might be healthy, and it could certainly solve some problems. Like getting caught in a spider web. I'd rather frantically wipe it off and angrily swat around and take my shirt off than to sit still and try to find each web fiber. Not the best example, i know.
The other day i tried to unlock my door, and i don't remember if i was using the wrong key or just couldn't put the key in right, but i had the choice to try slowly to get the door open or to get angry and try it. Both choices would've allowed me to focus, but i chose anger simply because i pictured it as a way to fast-forward through all my fumbling and turning the handle. What difference does it make?
It kinda makes a big difference. If you have enough time and the ability to choose how to react, you should always choose the same reaction. No, not complacency or anger, and love isn't the word I'm looking for. We'll call it "peace." You should always choose peace. All 3 are a matter of the heart. Complacency may be more of a matter of the mind. Still it's a condition of not caring. A condition! Like depression. When i look at American culture, society, politics, media -- just about everything! -- i see complacency :-/. If we look deep enough, i think we'd all find that a lot of us pretend not to care. Our friends, even society, have taught us it's better to not care in order to not get hurt, when really you do care. Don't fake what you feel -- but don't always act on it either!
Instead, practice peace; forgiveness; love.
